Why do LoL things happen to me???

Shit Happens! With me, LoL things happen along with shitty things.
I wonder if this happens with everyone or I am the only guy suffering from this.

My friends and everyone who knows me personally knows that I cant remember names and roads. So, what happened today??? Well, another LoL incident!!!

My dad called me at 7.30 in the morning n I was like whhaa? whhoo? wheerree? ok! He was out of town and was about to reach the city in 20 minutes. So, I woke up... crapped... brushed my teeth... put my jeans on... took the keys of the car and the journey began. I was supposed to meet him at the Bole Petrol Pump. I have been there many times before. But there is one square where I always get confused. If u take right from that square, u'll reach Mr. Beans but if u go straight u'll reach Bole Petrol Pump. As usual, I took a right and reached Mr. Beans. Here, I was like "SHIT... Not again... I again forgot the way to BPP". Then I thought I should ask for directions... so I called someone and asked... I was told that I should go straight and I'd find the BPP. So, I followed the directions and went straight. So straight that I passed BPP and didnt even notice. Then again confused I took a right and went straight. I thought atleast I d find some landmark to identify my way. Then I found one landmark. Its was VNIT college. I was like FUCK!!! Why do such things happen to me??? Then I received a phone call from my Dad and he said "I m leaving in an auto... U seem to be lost... find ur way back to the home... we'll meet there". Then I took a U-turn, went straight then took a left, again went straight. Then there was the Mofo shitty BPP right in front of me. How could I never see a petrol pump?? Its not the size of a fuckin' peanut. Embarrased, I came back to home. My Mom and Dad were like ROFL when they saw me.
This is not the first time this happened to me. Same thing happened when my friend came from Pune and I was supposed to pick him up from the same mofo shitty asshole BPP. It is not an unusual thing for me to forget roads.


PS: I think everything happens for good. Now, my dad will never ask me to pick him up :D

What should u do if bitten by a Zombie?

Consider, U ve been bitten by a Zombie. Ur Zombification is now inevitable. U wont survive on vegetables. U need human flesh, which is beginning to look quite tasty. What should u do? Here are some suggestions...

#1. Chillax bro!!! Watch TV... What? IPL is over? watch highlights then.
#2. Take a nap one last time... ur going to be undead in a very short time and I ve never seen any undead take a sleep.
#3. Anyone up for cricket? Mera Bat.. tum log ball le k aao..
#4. Listen to Himesh Reshammiya Shit.
#5. Smoke some weed.
#6. Call all ur friends to bring alcohol and Party till u become a Zombie.
#7. Watch Porn for one last time.
#8. Contact local mafia and drug dealers. Eat them after becoming Zombie. U'll be doing some social service.
#9. Call Dominoes and order Pizza.
#10. Play Zombie video games like Resident Evil-4.
#11.Go to Hollywood and work in some Zombie movie. U'll be a Superstar.
#12. Find the zombie who bit u and bite back.
#13. Put ur head between ur legs and kiss ur human ass goodbye.
#14. Panic and freak out... ur going to be a Zombie!!!
#15. Hand-cuff urself to someone u dont like.
#16. Go to market, recharge ur mobile phone and send Happy New Year sms to all, even if its just June.
#17. Watch Zombie movies to learn Zombie-lifestyle.
#18. Take explosives and rush into the mob of zombies and BOOM urself taking down as many zombies as u can.
#19. Do not try to commit suicide. Instead, embrace the reality and try to live like a zombie. Be a proud undead citizen.
#20. Document ur status after the initial infection. Who knows u might not become a zombie.

Now, u ve become a zombie. What to do?
#21. Eat, in this order,
1. Himesh Reshammiyah
2. Ekta Kapoor
3. xHRD minister Arjun Singh
4. Andrew Symonds
5. Osama Bin Laden
6. Rakhi Sawant
7. Adane Family
8. Shahrukh Khan
9. Annu Malik
10. Varun Sharma... What? Hes already a Zombie? Try eating ur ex-girlfriend.

#22.Find a good looking Zombie with great boobz and hav zombie-sex with her.
#23. U can still smoke weed and do drugs.
#24. Dont forget Alcohol.
#25. Lock urself in a room and throw away the key.
#26. Ask ur friends to quarantine u. If they fuck up, well not ur fault, u were just hungry.
#27. U can become an amazing CSW (sex worker) coz Zombies dont get tired and they are always hungry for more.
#28. Donate ur body to science. Do not eat those scientists/doctors. U just donated ur body.
#29. Stab urself to death.
#30. Cannibalize urself and save humanity.
#31. Make a Zombie Porn Site and earn money.
#32. Set the record of most people infected by single zombie ever.
#33. If u feel humans are not so tasty as u were thinking, u can always go for Ketchup.
#34. Yea.. yea... I know... u can also have Human-Sundae, served cold.
#35. And... my dear zombies... Dont forget to use toilet. All that human flesh has to come out in some way. A zombie should daily go to Toilet 2-5 times if u dont want to wet and colour ur pants while eating a human. What would other zombies think about u? Personal Hygiene is very essential.

PS: Prepare urself. Apocalypse is near. They are coming. Buy weapons and ammo. You dont want to be eaten by zombies, do u? Join my Zombie Extermination Army!!!

Response to comments on my last post.

Hello my dear zombies.
Thankz for ur comments. I'll try to respond to most of them. I wont be revealing ur identities.


#1. Dude... ur fuckin' awesome... keep it up...

Thankz. I appreciate ur wasting ur precious time on my blog. I assume ur also jobless and bored to shit like me. If u like this blog, try to follow it and tell ur friends about it.

#2. Chutiya blog... chutiya post... 15 minutes of my life I will never get back.

Hmmm. Thats not my problem. What I can suggest u is get back to whatever u were doing after reading my posts... may be watch some porno shit... or jump off a one-story building... dont worry, u wont die... It may happen u'll be admitted to a hospital and ur nurse is pretty damn HOTT!!! Then prolly, u might thank me for my chutiya posts :)

#3. Get a life man! U urself are a racist... saw ur kitties' pictures... 2 black cats, one white and a Racist... FU Racist.

Oh u fuckin' tard ass... Did I say I was not a Racist? I dont hate racists... I hate Gays... Lesbians are exceptional... :D

#4. Mere baap! How can u be so creative? ur awesome... genius... I ve never seen a guy like u. U rock in comedy thoughts. Ur creativity is far far better than many of the current tv artists. May God bless u and u become one RK Laxman one day... beleive me u ve got awesome talent.
OMFG... What can I say now... Rk Laxman = wh0? The Cartoonist? WTF?!

#5. Why are u so upset??? U seem to be very frustrated, I felt it after readin ur blog.

WTF!?! Do I look upset? Man!! I was trying to create humour... It seems I failed in my attempt.

#6. I read ur post... I know it is a real story... Can u give the names of those 4 guys?

I think I should have put this disclaimer:
"This is an entirely fictional story with fictional characters. Any Resemblance between the characters and persons living or dead is purely coincidental."

#7. Read all ur posts... the 4 people post needs to reveal more.Wat exactly did the fat guy and the white guy do to the tall guy?

Read Carefully. Its all present in the post.
"Feeling ignored by the Black guy, the Fat n the White guy scheamed to save their dirty asses from the Tall guys rapist intentions and make that Black guy pay for ignoring them. They told the Tall guy that it was the Black guy who wanted him to suffer, who scheamed and executed the operation secretly. They told him it was a big mistake to befriend a Black guy, 'they are like snakes, black n slimey and totally straight with big black dicks and forget gay sex, they dont even like hanging out with gay ppl like us'."

#8. Gr8 blog... but do u think those b*****ds require so much coverage?

Why do u guys have to put *s ? Its annoying.

If I remember/get any more comments, i'll try to respond to every one.

Small story on Racism !!! (maybe its not that small)

Alright folks, first of all, this is a warning that following text contains hardcore swear words, sexual n racist content which may not be appropriate for children, racists, rapists, chickens, zombies, vampires, horny gals and gays.

If ur still reading this, it means ur a good guy and I d willingly be accepting u in my future "Zombie Extermination Army" and gift u a free zoozoo cartoon which will save u from suicidal, gay n rapist thoughts !!!

Once upon a time, there were 4 guys - Fat, Tall, White and Black. They used to call each other friends and bitch at each other everytime they get a chance.

One day, the tall guy said I want to be taller, so tall that everyone can see my hairy balls. But the fat and the white guy were bitches. They thought he is tall enuff and if he grew taller, it would be impossible for them to suck his donkey balls and give him a blowjob without using a ladder. So they scheamed how to pull his ass down. The Black guy was a stupid one who thought scheaming is for pussies but gave his outside support to them.

The Fat n the White guy were successful in their mission. They pulled the Tall guy so damn hard that his donkey balls came out of his mouth. For one week, he was unable to eat, drink, shit, vomit and scrach his balls.

But slowly, he grew his balls by watching gay porn, eating chicken shit and masturbating for complete half times daily.

Then he swore he d not leave the person behind his downfall who made him lost his donkey balls. He d rape that fuckin' bastard... Anally!!!

The Fat and the White guy came to know the Tall guys intentions of raping the culprits anally. They were not afraid of the gay sex but were scared to death of losing their "we-are-not-Gay" Image. What if everyone (specially straight handsome boys) came to know of their sexual orientation, they will be neglected and ignored by everyone. Scared, they once again scheamed. This time also Black guy thought Scheaming is for Pussies! Also, when the Black guy came to know that the Fat and the White guys were gay, he didnot give his outside support to them this time.

Feeling ignored by the Black guy, the Fat n the White guy scheamed to save their dirty asses from the Tall guys rapist intentions and make that Black guy pay for ignoring them. They told the Tall guy that it was the Black guy who wanted him to suffer, who scheamed and executed the operation secretly. They told him it was a big mistake to befriend a Black guy, 'they are like snakes, black n slimey and totally straight with big black dicks and forget gay sex, they dont even like hanging out with gay ppl like us'.

The Tall guy was unable to grow brains which existed in his ex-balls. So, he was deceived by his gay partners. Now, he wanted to rape that Black bastard.. anally.. in front of everyone. His half grown balls were screaming enthusiastically to shoot at the Black guys face. He wanted to cum on Black guys face so hard that the Black guy wd become the Whitest White ever.

That day came soon for which all three of them were waiting eagerly. They nailed that Black bastard, raped him... anally..., cursed him and left for the Zombies and Vampires to destroy the remaining of the Black guy. This is the biggest instance of Racism in our society. The Black Community was terribly hurt.

Later on, the Black guy became the Vampire Zombie Monster who inspite of being a Zombie himself, became the Terminator of the zombies and made the "Zombie Extermination Army".

The End.



PS: The Black guy was never gay and will never be !!!

Attending lectures... Creating Important notes !!! :)

Yea.. I know... college is over... but still... I want everyone to know how to maintain notes and stay attentive and sharp in the class. This is how I maintained my good attendance (though i was always listed in the low-attendance list).

This one is the proof that I attended ERP lecture on 21st January. Its the pic of an anime character Kurosaki Ichigo from Bleach.


Proof: I attended DDOOD (Distributed Databases and Object Oriented Databases) lecture on 27th Jan. It takes one whole semester to learn the full name of the subject.
Also, this pic shows what happens in this lecture. At the start of the lecture, ur very enthusiastic, marks the page numbers, underlines, bla bla... At the mid of the lecture, u lose ur concentration, u start missing words, even sentences... after 15 more minutes, ur dead... u dont know whats happening, u pretend to write few words, handwriting is shitty, u cant even tell what u were writing in tht lecture afterwards, u wish u had not done this lecture, u look at ur watch when the fck its gonna end, what if he/she finds out I m sleepy n not attentive in the class...


Its the pic of another anime character Kon from Bleach. I coloured it later not in the class :D


The number of times I slept in last 15 minutes of the lecture.


It happens sometimes... ur soo sleepy that u dont have control even on ur hands


28th Jan - DDOOD lecture. This time I tried not to sleep in the class. There was one question that was supposed to be the most important one - "Features of OODBMS". So, I tried my best to make it look important. If ur bored like shit, u can even count the number of stars I made, n ofcourse u can tell me how many stars are there coz I dont bother to count or u can say m bad with numbers :D


PS: There are over 35 stars in the pic.

Animal Rights Violation??? Sue me!!!

A cat gave birth to 3 beautiful kitties in my room. After trying for 4 days, I got a chance to see them. They were beautiful !!! They were total 3 - one white and 2 black. Here are some of their pix.

End of the Sh!tty College Life !!! Sigh !!!

With the last paper on 5th of May, I am now free from my shi-tty college life. Well, college life isnt always shi-tty. But not everyone has a good time in the college, specially, when u hav some asshole friends who always f#ck with u at the wrong time. Yea, this shows I had (not hav) some asshole friends. I never thought that my life would be such a waste when I took admission in the engineering. Most of us never gets the desired field.

My dream was to become a doctor (Doctor = $$money$$ ) (LoL). But an average student cant get an admission for MBBS, unless ur Dad is $$RICH$$ or u belong to a reserved category (SC/ST/OBC). Obviously, I wish I had a rich dad ($$$$) and/or I belonged to some category (51% reserved seats = OMFG). So, took admission in a private engineering college of my city (later came to know its the best coll in the city :D).

First year was fine. I was, like most of us, scared of the ragging. But fortunately/unfortunately I never got ragged. I made many good friends in the first year belonging to all the branches except for one- Information Technology (SH-IT). And UnFortunately, I belong to SH-IT.

From the second year, my Bad time ended and my Worst time started. Sh-IT-ty subjects, endless theory, impractical practicals, scary programming languages were may be too difficult for a dumbas$ like me though I never failed in any subject, always scraped through. Bad impression on lecturers, less attendance, low internal marks, etc. are some side-effects of selecting a good college.

To make it short, my remaining 3 years (2,3,4) were so bad i dont even want to think abt it. So, forget it! WHO THE F#CK CARES !!!

SH-IT a.k.a. Information Technology is the biggest loser in this scary times of so-called "Recession". I got placed in an (SH)IT company but my company has sent me a "We-are-sorry-bitches" GPL letter !!! Now, like everyone, I am Unemployed too! Life is LoL!

I dont give a damn about any of the above things. So, why m I wasting time? Coz M BORED!!!

A person can sit idle for one hour, one day, one week maybe one month. But eventually u get bored. And a frustrated mind needs some space.

I'll be putting some weird shit on my blog. I dont care if no one reads all of this. But if u do read it, I request u to put some comments and any suggestions for me to improve are appreciated!

My First Blog...

Hey guys! Its 4:00 am in the morning and I dont know what came to my mind; I thought why not start blogging! So here it is.. My First Blog! (This clearly shows how bored I am)
I d be happy to accept ur ideas to kill boredom. Also, since m new to this blogging world, any help would be appreciated!

Imba capture at 3:15 am "Still an Idiot"!!!