How to miss a train... by being extra smart!! A story of an extreme bad day!!

So, Imagine... You live in Pune. You have a big family function in Ajmer (Rajasthan). There’s no ticket available from Pune to Ajmer. But u are not going to give up. U go out at 10.30 pm to search for a cyber café n luckily u find one n book a ticket from Mumbai to Ajmer. Now u think ur very smart since u booked a ticket ONLINE. Stupid ppl will stand in queues for hours to book the same ticket… eeehaw!!

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Now what? You ask everyone how much time does it take to reach Mumbai from Pune. Everyone says its about 4 hours away by bus. So u plan accordingly. You wake up at 7am n go to bus station at 8.30. Now a twist in the story… there’s no bus directly to Mumbai Central. You panic n u go for a private bus. The agent says u wont get any bus to central directly; instead u should go to dadar n then go to central from there. Ur bus will leave at 9.15, won’t stop anywhere, will reach Dadar in 3 n a half hrs and it has an AC. Your train is at 2.20 from Central. U think u’ll reach dadar by 1 o’clock then will go to central by some god-only-knows means n catch ur train. U think ur smart!

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Now what? Ur bus leaves at 10.30 instead of 9.15. Yes, It’s just the beginning. U think it’ll reach dadar by 1.30 n u’ll still be able to catch ur train on time. Yes, u think ur smart!

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Now what? Ur bus stops at several places just to waste time, pee, eat, fill the fuel tank n fill the bus with more smart ppl. Everytime ur bus stops, it wastes 15-30 minutes. U shout at the bus driver 3 times. He says u’ll reach dadar by 2, don’t worry. U think once u reach dadar, u’ll call Spiderman, Superman or Shaktiman whoever is nearer n ask if u can get a lift from Dadar to Central. So, u’ll still be able to catch ur train on time. Now, ur confused if ur smart or not. But no, hey, ur smart!

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Now what? Ur in the outskirts of Mumbai, nowhere near Dadar or central and its already 2. WoW!! Now u start Panicking. U call Spiderman, Superman and Shaktiman, all three of them. They are all busy today. Spiderman is going out with his aunt to buy his new underwear. Superman has a news-reporter girlfriend who reveals about his sex life in the newspaper if he’s even a single minute late to meet her. And Shaktiman is missing. Ppl say he was old, fat n lousy. Some Dark-Dude-KillWish ass-whipped him and sent him back to Himalayas. WoW!!!

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Now what? U call 139 n ask if the train stops at dadar. Yes, it has a stoppage at Dadar of about 2 minutes, departure time from Dadar is 2.32. Its 2.15 n ur about to reach dadar. U really are smart!

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Now what? Bus drops u near Dadar Station at 2.25. Departure time : 2.32. U ask 5 taxi drivers if they’ll take u to the station. But no one’s ready to go there since there are some nasty ghosts in that area. Now ur about to piss ur pants. But hey, smart ppl don’t do that.. U gather all ur strength.. take P.T. Usha’s name.. and RUN!!! U run like a dog, a dog who hasn’t eaten a thing since 3 days and suddenly sees a truck full of tasty hotdogs. U run like a mad guy, a guy who hasn’t crapped for a whole week n suddenly feels like he should shit for the sake of the ppl who has died bcoz of his farts. U run as if some gay is after u n will surely rape u. U run like Ajay Devgan who suddenly realizes his love for Kajol and she is about to leave the country in 5 minutes. U run! Yes, Smart ppl run when there’s need. U run n run n run!!! Coz ur Smart! Goddamnit!

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Now what? Ur sweating like Rahul Dravid, ur whole t-shirt is wet. Ur panting like a dog. U need water, u need to piss badly. But first things first. Catch the fuckin’ train man! U don’t find ur watch. U have to take out ur stone-age mobile phone to check out the time.

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Its 2.35.

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What The Fuck!?!

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U just missed ur train by 3 minutes! Truly WTF moment. Dumb things happen with Smart ppl. But ur not smart! Ur Over-smart!

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Now what? Ab kuch nahi bacha hai bhai.. lets get out of this sweaty, fish-smelling, hot n humid, crowdy but beautiful city. U again take a private bus back to Pune, thinking it’ll take 5 hours to reach there n u can get a good sleep before reaching the city. The bus has AC, TV n good seats. Good bus, nice sleep, happy journey.

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Now what? The bus has a TV and guess what movie is on it…

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LUCK!!!

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What the FUCK!!!

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U woke up at 7, ur bus left at 10.30 instead of 9.15, u ran n sweat like shit and u missed ur train. U accept that ur not smart, ur dumb. But hey, ur bad day isn’t over yet. U have to see a bad, correction, the worst movie ever. LUCK!! It’s a torture! Why don’t u just drown in a river n die, why this unbearable physical n mental pain???

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Why you???

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Why me???

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Why???